


Impulses and Desires

by chloeyo



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Humor, Hydra, The Framework, anti-Inhumanity, philinda focused, with other ships mixed in
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-09-27 09:37:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9999239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chloeyo/pseuds/chloeyo
Summary: The Framework changed them. It turned the world upside down and now they're living in it. They've changed. But what stayed the same? Are impulses natural and are desires based on fate?





	1. Chapter 1

“The director will see you now. The office is down the hall and the last door on your left. Enter any other room and you will be escorted out.”

 

Daisy politely smiled at the secretary and proceeded to the office. 

 

“Hydra’s no joke, Jemma.”, she said into her comms. “I think I saw someone leave a lipstick taser in the bathroom.”

 

“ _ It is Hydra, Daisy. I can only expect it to be scarier based on who it’s run by here.” _

 

“I’m prepared for the worst, trust me”

 

She stopped in front of the door, took a deep breath, and knocked confidently. The light above the door knob turned green and read ‘enter’. So she did.

 

There was no one inside when she entered. The room was dark with minimal decoration-- not that she expected there to be any. It was nothing like Coulson’s when he was a director back in the real world. 

 

Daisy took a seat in front of what she assumed to be the Director’s desk and took in the view overlooking Washington D.C. It was a bright and sunny day, then again she wasn’t even sure rain could exist in this reality, but it was still nice. Everyone seemed so calm. Hydra was the main agency dealing with powered people and no one was fighting against it. Citizens were taught to push away powered people instead of welcoming them. 

 

Her world was already headed in that direction. The Senator and the Watchdogs were only gaining supporters. All she could do is defend herself and others like her so people in power couldn’t take their basic rights away from them.

 

She startled when she heard a voice come from close behind her.

 

“Hi.”

 

Daisy shot up out of her chair and turned around.

 

“Oh-- hi. Di-- Director--”

 

“Just call me May.”, May said holding it out for Daisy to shake. “You’re Daisy Johnson, right? The level 3 who has the fix to our current problem?”

 

Daisy swallowed and aggressively nodded her head.

 

“You’re nervous.”, May pointed out. All Daisy could do was smile in defeat. “Don’t be, sit.”

 

May was different. The wall she normally put up was a lot thinner. She was smiling, voluntarily-- and Coulson wasn’t even there making a cheesy joke. 

 

“ _ This is amazing. I for one expected her to be the same, if not more intense. But this-- it must have to do with her not being the Cavalry.” _

 

“Water?”, May asked reaching into the refrigerator under her desk.

 

“No, no thank you.”

 

May took a sip and looked back at Daisy.

 

“I know some people think of me as… intimidating-- you may have heard a word or two about that from your fellow agents.”

 

“You could say that.”

 

“Well, don’t tell them, but there’s really nothing to be afraid of when it comes to me. So, show me what you got.”

 

Daisy snapped out of her amazement for this version of May and remembered she had a tablet in her hand.

 

“Right so there situation is very precise, I’m afraid. There are four men that we need to bring in--”, she handed May the tablet that showed the profiles of the four men. “They could be the solve.”

 

May’s eyebrows furrowed as she carefully read through. 

 

“ _ Remember--”,  _ Jemma said into Daisy’s ear, “ _ All we need is to get the seven of us to the rendezvous point. Just convince her it will work, you can do it. _ ”

 

May swiped one more time and her expression turned surprised. 

 

“Ok, I have a few questions.”, she said setting the tablet down on her desk. Daisy could see that she left it on Coulson’s file. “A politician, a mechanic from Indiana, a snobby scottish guy, and--”, she shook her head and scoffed, “Phil Coulson.”

 

Daisy leant forward.

 

“Woah, do you know him?”

 

“You could say that.”

 

May looked at the picture of him and back up at Daisy.

 

“I don’t know why, but I trust you. I’ll accompany you to retrieve these men.”   
  


“Really?”

 

“ _ Really? _ ” 

 

“Yeah. I’ll fly us out to Wisconsin. Meet me in the hangar in an hour.”

 

“Yes, ma’am.”

 

“May.”, she corrected.

 

“May.”

  
  
  


The two Hydra agents sat in the a car parked outside Manitowoc High School. Daisy noted how May parked exactly ten spaces away from a familiar looking red Corvette. 

 

The 3 o’clock bell rang and students flooded out of the front doors. About half an hour later, they spotted him. 

 

They both reached to open their car door but May stopped Daisy.

 

“Let me go first. He should be fairly easy.”

 

May got out of the car. With crossed arms, she approached his path to his car. He saw her and slowed down, stopping giving them a wide distance.

 

“Melinda May.”, he said putting his briefcase in his other and adjusting his glasses. “Or should I say ‘Director May’?”

 

“How’ve you been, Phil?”

 

“Fine, actually. Nice house, nice job-- life’s going great. But it’s nothing compared to being the Director of Hydra.”

 

May shrugged.

 

“I admire the work you’re doing… really. Everyone praises you for what you’ve done to diminish the inhuman threat. I do too, in a way. But to me-- you’ll always be the girl that broke my heart.”

She rolled her eyes.

 

“You’re still dramatic. Good to know.”

 

“I am not dramatic.”

 

“Phil, you know damn well the reason we broke up was your fault.”

 

“My fault? What about you? Melinda, I could start listing the things you did wrong or…”

 

“Whatever. It was 20 years ago. I didn’t come all this way just to fight this fight again.”

 

“Why  _ did  _ you come all this way.”

 

Daisy was watching from afar and it didn’t look like it was going too well. She got out and stood next to May.

 

Coulson looked back forth at the two, his mouth slowly forming an ‘o’.

 

“Oh god. Is she-- she’s-- is she my-- is this why you’re here? To tell me you’ve been raising my kid all this time?”

 

May looked at Daisy. She could see how Coulson would think that. He was clearly freaking out.

 

“Yes.”, she said stiffening up her stance. “That’s exactly why I’m here.”

 

Coulson looked shocked at first. He just stood there looking at her in disbelief. When May looked over at Daisy, she was trying hard not to break into a smile. 

 

Daisy was just in awe. Back in the real world, she knew the two always had good banter-- she’d heard stories from their early days about them messing with each other. She stopped believing in fate or stronger forces pulling and pushing when it did her wrong so many times ago, but she did believe these two were meant to be together in some way or another in any reality.

 

“So what.”, Coulson asked once he caught his breath. “Why now? Do you need anything? Are you in trouble?”

 

“I’m the Director of Hydra. You’d be the last person I’d go to if I were in trouble, trust me.”. Coulson scrunched his eyebrows as if mildly offended. “I think I just wanted to see the look on your face.”

 

“May.”, said Daisy who was starting to feel bad for Coulson. “I’m sorry, I’m not your daughter Coul-- Mr. Coulson. I’m just one of her agents.”

 

Coulson’s shoulders drooped from relief and he let out a big sigh. May had an amused smile on her face.

 

“What the hell?”, he said with his hand over his chest to slow down his heart rate. “Melinda what kind of game is this?”

 

“Not a game. We actually need you to come with us to fix a current problem.”

 

“And why couldn’t you just say that in the beginning?”

 

“What’s the fun in that?”

 

May turned around and headed back to the car, leaving Coulson for Daisy to take care of.

 

“She’s got a sense of humor.”, Daisy said half amazed.

 

“Yeah, well you could call it that. What do you need me for.”

 

“That’s classified for the moment. But you’re not in any kind of trouble. I guess you could say that you’re the missing piece to solving this puzzle. Just trust us.”

 

He looked at Daisy and then over at May, who was still walking to the car. In Daisy’s opinion he was looking a little too long and in the wrong area of her body. But when he looked back at her he nodded his head.

 

“I’ll come with you guys.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

They started their way back to the car.

 

“I hope this has something to do with inhumans.”

 

“In a way.”

 

“Good. I love how Hydra deals with them. Just no mercy. It’s inspirational.”

 

Daisy clutched her fist and gritted her teeth.

 

“Yup, inspirational alright.”

  
They’d better get to that rendezvous point fast. It was only a matter of time before she lost it and kicked some inhuman-hating ass.


	2. Chapter 2

The three hopped on a quinjet to make the trip to Scotland. Coulson, by force of habit, sat in the passenger seat next to May while Daisy sat in the back.

He hadn't been in a Quinjet since she was with SHIELD, back when they were dating. He read all about how she made the switch. Hydra convinced her they were the right choice in her early days as an agent. She was on a mission that left her in the Sausalito end of the San Francisco bay for an entire day. May was pissed when another agent finally found her. They heard her out, told her that SHIELD doesn't value her, but that another organization-- Hydra-- would.

So she joined in on it and became one of the driving forces in Hydras coming out of the darkness. They say without her, the infiltration wouldn't be able to be unveiled until at least 2014. Instead, those snakes slithered out in the late 1990s and quickly took over the world. All thanks to Melinda May.

“So, how's life _really_ going for you, Phil?”, she asked keeping her eyes on the sky ahead.

“Shouldn't you know? I have a file somewhere right?”

“You do. But it can only tell me so much.”

“Oh? And what did it tell you.”

“Not long after we broke up, you got married, had a kid-- a daughter.”

“Julianna.”

“Like your mother.”

“Exactly.”

“I'm sorry about your wife, Phil. Really.”

She looked over at him. He was fiddling with his seatbelt, with that familiar smile. Once he realized she was looking, he met her eyes.

“Cancer, right? It sucks. But I've made my peace with it.”

She kicked herself for making the conversation heavy because there was nothing she could think of to say next. Luckily, he was used to saying something to lighten the mood.

“What about you? There's nothing about you online. Not even a Wikipedia page.”

“So you've looked me up.”

“Well yeah. You're on the news everyday. Literally everyday. Like it or not-- you're famous. Pretty sure there's a couple of blogs and fan clubs out there.”. She laughed only because she knew it was true. “I honestly don't get why. Because they know nothing about you.”

“Spy life's dangerous. A lot of bad people would wanna know I have a son.”

His mouth dropped-- so did Daisy’s but she wasn't supposed to be eavesdropping. May reached into her jacket pocket and took out a picture to hand to Coulson.

“That's William. He’ll be six next month.”

“Will. Like your dad.”

“Exactly.”

Coulson handed her back the picture and she returned it to its designated pocket.

“Will’s dad kinda-- left. So it's just us.”

“He _left_ ? _You?_ ”

May couldn't help but chuckle at his seriousness in asking such an adorably stupid question.

“I mean, I know where he is, but what's the point of forcing him to be a dad when he doesn't want to be one, right?”

Coulson looked into the vast sky, shaking his head.

“He sounds like a jackass.”

“He is, trust me. I’m just happy my mom’s ok with Will sleeping over as much as she does.”

“Must be hard: balancing your job with being a parent. I can relate, though maybe not as extreme.”

He looked at her. Her eyes were focused on the sky but he could tell that’s not what she was thinking about. He knew exactly what she was feeling. The feeling that you know you’re doing everything you can to be the perfect parent for your child but nothing you do will ever amount to it. But then again, their lives still could have been worse.

“So you wanna tell me where we’re going?”, he asked. “If I’m missing the Outlaw Lacrosse championship game I'm gonna need a valid explanation.”

May rolled her eyes and Daisy cringed at this teacher version of Phil Coulson. She didn't know why she cringed, because this wasn't surprising. The Coulson she knows is a badass, but first of all he's always a nerd-- but in a good way.

Daisy tried not to listen, she kept reminding herself that it was all fake but it was just so real. Aside from the fact that she knew coming in that everything she was seeing was pure fiction, there was nothing telling her that it wasn't. So she _did_ feel for them. She'd essentially be taking away what they think is most important to them.

They got to Scotland and snatched up the douchebag version of Fitz. Daisy didn't feel to bad about that. Jemma-- who was listening in the whole time-- surprisingly thought his situation was hilarious. But that didn't last long because who Fitz was dating made it a thousand times worse.

Nothing about Mack’s Framework life surprised them. He had a daughter. Daisy remembers hearing the Ghost Rider say the Mack had lost hope. And that was his daughter’s name-- Hope. He'd lost Hope, and now they were gonna lose her again. It's brutal but necessary.

Mace was basically the same man he was a year ago. Turns out his biggest regret was leading people to believe that he was a hero. That lead to him being the fake inhuman director of SHIELD.

They all had regrets back home, it's was caused the hurt. But here there was less hurt. They still felt it but the regrets weren’t as great.

Daisy looked at the group that stood before her. All familiar faces, but they weren’t the same people. The room was completely silent. If they were themselves, there were a  few things that would most likely be happening: Mack and Fitz would be talking shop and arguing about something completely irrational, Jemma and Daisy would probably chat on and on about the gossip going around on base (it was a good way to keep their minds off the job), and Coulson and May would be off to the side getting lost in a conversation about anything-- actually that’s what they were doing.

“Ok.”, Daisy said finishing off the new consultants’ Hydra visitor’s stay paperwork. She handed each of them a tablet. “Thank you for your cooperation today, we will begin work tomorrow. These tablets will show you to your room. I promise I have made the best and most comfortable accommodations.”

Fitz opened his mouth but Daisy didn’t feel like dealing with him.

“Any questions can be answered by the attendants on your floor. Have a nice night.”

She turned around to give her briefing to May but she was too deep in smiles and googly eyes with Coulson that she couldn’t be snapped out. So Daisy took a seat and scrolled through the Framework’s celebrity gossip.

“You heading home?”, Coulson asked when he saw her picking up her things.

“Yeah. Should be there in time for dinner. Care to join?”

He scrunched his face and stepped back.

“Depends, are you cooking?”

She punched his arm jokingly and shook her head amazed at the fact that someone was teasing her. People rarely did that since she got appointed director.

“I am, actually. A little grilled cheese recipe I learned a while back. It’s Will’s favorite.”

“Oh is it? He obviously hasn’t tasted it when it’s done right.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Why, yes. I guess I would call it a challenge.”

“What are the stakes?”

Coulson stiffened up and crossed his arms.

“If I win: you have to come in as a guest speaker to one of my classes.”

She stiffened up too, though she was still only up to his chin.

“And if _I_ win?”

“Then I will treat you to Pescado Loco. I know they don’t have that here in DC and it’s your favorite. Or at least it used to be.”

“Still is.”, she held out her hand. “Deal.”

They gathered the remainder of their things and headed out the door.

“Good work today, Daisy. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

They nodded at each other and went their separate ways. Daisy noticed Coulson was going through the same flirty motions and cutesy gestures he was a couple weeks ago with the fake May. Seeing that reminded her that they _were_ the same people, just different occupations and personalities.

She eventually found her way through the giant building and wound up back in her car. That was when her phone buzzed.

_Grant_.

She took in a deep breath and answered.

“Hello?”

“ _Hey.”._

When she first entered the Framework his face, his voice would send chills down her spine. But now, now that she's been in there longer, it's starting to feel normal and familiar.

“ _We just finished up on the 18th floor. Where are you?”_

“I'm in the car.”

“ _K I'm on my way.”_

“See you in a few.”

Once he hung up she got out of the car and leant against the trunk. There was propaganda hanging all around. It actually reminded her of the way Mace and his people redecorated the Playground. Only this was much, much worse. In this reality she wasn't even an inhuman but she still felt offended by the constant hate being said about them.

She was overcome with hands roaming her body and lips crashing into her own.

“Hi.”, he breathed once they'd broken apart.

“Hi.”

“Busy day? You didn’t call.”

“Yeah, sorry. I went consultant shopping with the Director. I think she likes me.”

“Melinda May? The notorious ice queen?”

“Yes her.”

“Well good for you. What do you say we celebrate with some Chinese takeout and Netflix?”

“I’d say that sounds really cliche and domestic.”

Daisy felt like she should have been weirded out at the fact that she answered so quickly and in a very flirty in-a-relationship type of way-- but she wasn’t. Everything in this world was starting to feel natural.

“It does doesn’t it? Might as well add a couple tubs of ice cream in there too, huh?”

“Sounds good.”

He bent down and gave her one last kiss before they got into the car.

“I love you.”

She looked up and into his big brown eyes. Back home he was the man that betrayed her and everyone she cared about on every level. But _here_ , he was the man that swept her off her feet during that one op in Dublin.

“I love you, too.”


	3. Chapter 3

Coulson was surprised when they pulled up to a spacious suburban home just an hour away from the Triskelion. From what he remembered, May never wanted a life like this. He always tried to convince her that it was possible to balance a normal life with the spy life, but she never bought it. Obviously at some point in their time apart she changed her mind.

“Listen.”, May said and she put the car in park. “Will doesn’t know that much about my job. He knows I work for Hydra, but he doesn’t know what I am. Knowing will only put him at more risk.”

He could see her eyes tremor slightly as she imagined the worst. She was nervous. He could relate. Though, again, nowhere as intense. 

“I take it you don’t have company, often.”

He always had a way of making her smile when the conversation was heavy on her.

“No, no I don’t.”

“Well, I’m glad to be the exception.” , he said intending to sound a bit cocky.

“Umm… don’t let it go to your head.”

Both of them were taken back for a second to when they were younger and would say things just like that. Coulson could tell she was thinking about that exact same memory. They could always read eachother’s minds-- some people were just like that. When he read that she saw him staring, he had to say something.

“Your secret’s safe with me.”

They shared one last binding look before he so quickly got out of the car and opened her door. She rolled her eyes at the gesture but he knew that just meant she really liked it.

May lead the two of them to the front door. It took her a good minute to unlock it. It was equipped with several passcodes, security questions, and a face and thumb scan. Coulson could say he was surprised, but he’d be lying. She wasn’t paranoid-- she was smart.

Once the door opened, the digital voice said, “ _ Front Door, opened.”.  _ It was followed by the sound of soft foot steps quickly making their way down the stairs. 

“Mom!”

Will turned the corner at a hundred miles per hour and immediately threw his arms around May’s waist. 

“Hi, baby.”, May said picking him up and pressing several kisses over his face. 

Coulson watched fondly. He knew how precious these moments were. Will was still small enough to be carried and he didn’t have any shame in letting his mom kiss him the way that she was. He remembered when Julianna was at that age. Now she was getting ready for college.  _ College.  _

“Where’s grandma?”

“Upstairs.”

Will noticed Coulson watching them.

“Oh, honey, this is a friend of mine.”

May put Will down on his feet as his eyes remained up on Coulson. 

“Hi. I’m Phil.”, he said holding out his hand. Will examined it before shaking it. His cautiousness in meeting new people was just like his mother.

“I’m Will.”

“I know, your mom’s told me a lot about you. I heard you have a pretty extensive toy car collection. Happen to have a 1962 Corvette in, say, red? It’s my favorite.”

Will’s eyes lit up. He hadn’t really met anyone before with the same level of interest.

“Of course. But my favorite is the ‘69 Charger. It would definitely beat a Corvette in a race”

Coulson looked up at May impressed at the young boy’s intelligence. May was just relieved this meeting was going smooth, she’d never done anything like this before.

“Melinda.”

Phil recognized that voice almost right away.

“Mom. Thank you, again.”

Mrs. May opened her mouth to speak again but was stunned by Coulson’s smiling face.

“Oh, you remember Phil.”

“I do?”

May’s eyes widened in embarrassment. She quickly muttered a few sentences in Chinese and Mrs. May suddenly caught on.

“Oh, yes-- Phil the teacher.”

“That’s me.”, he said with a dorky grin. “Nice to see you’re looking well.”

“Yes, well-- I better go.”

She pinched Will’s cheeks and headed out the door.

Coulson turned around to May who looked petrified.

“She doesn’t remember me does she?”

“Afraid not.”

  
  


“Why not that one?”, Daisy said. She was tucked under Ward’s arm and the two were flipping through Netflix for what seemed like an hour. 

“Because I don’t need to watch another movie about other men doing all these romantic over the top gestures for their ladies. Your expectations are high enough already.”

“And what do you wanna watch? And action movie where the ladies conveniently have their shirt ripped off by a monster truck?”

She looked up at him. They got each other. The movie debate wasn’t going to be settled anytime soon.

“You know this movie thing is getting a little too difficult.”, Ward said with with a mischievous tint in his eye. “I could think of something else that would make this night more interesting.”

Smiling, Daisy reached up to meet his waiting lips. Her eyes closed shut and the warmth of his skin sent tingles up to her head. A part of her liked it-- wanted more. But there was another part of her. That part sent flashes of her life in the real world to her mind.

_ It’s important for every S.O. to evaluate their student’s thought process. _

_ I don’t regret what I’ve done… No. Not if it means you’re safe. _

_ If we get out of this… maybe we can grab a drink. You and me. _

_ It’s different with us. _

She drew back from him taking in a deep sharp breath.

“Woah, are you ok?”, Ward said concerned.

“Yeah, yeah. No I’m ok.”

Daisy pulled him in again.

_ You know how I feel about you, Skye. _

_ It’s true, and so will be every word I say to you for the rest of my life. _

_ Do you believe I’m telling you the truth? _

_ Never turn your back on your enemy. _

This time, the way she drew back was harsh. So harsh he ended up banging his head on the headboard-- and not in the good way. 

“Ok. Are you _ sure  _ you're ok.”

Daisy sat up and stared at his face. He looked worried. But every second or so his face would glitch and all she'd see is the face of the monster that brainwashed her. 

“I-- I have to go.”

She quickly got off the bed and headed toward the front door, grabbing her phone and whatever shoes and jacket were closest. 

“What? Go where? Daisy!”

By the time Ward made it out the door the car in the driveway was already gone. He seriously regretted their decision to be practical and only have one car. 

Speeding away, Daisy texted Simmons. 

  1. _Wake up. NOW._



A second later she was back on the Zephyr. Simmons was waking up next to her. Her hair was short and the gunshot wounds from LMD Coulson and Mack caused a great deal of pain as she sat up. 

“What happened?”, Yoyo asked. “Did you fix it already?”

“Already?”, said Simmons. “How long have we been in there?”

“4 hours.”

Daisy and Simmons looked at each other in wonder. 

“It was days, I swear.”, Daisy said. 

“It's the Darkhold. I guess we really shouldn't be surprised.”

“Why are you guys awake?”

“I don't know. Daisy texted me saying it was an emergency.”

Daisy flung her legs over the side of the bed and took a slow breath in. 

“I was loosing my grip on reality.”, she finally gave up. “I started forgetting what was real and what was made up. I just needed a break.”

“Ok well. I'm afraid we don't have much time. Who knows how much time will have passed once we go back in.”

She had to quick. 

_ Grant Ward is dead.  _ She thought to herself.  _ He’s dead because he betrayed you and everyone you care about-- over and over again.  _

“Ok let's go.”

The headset went on and the next thing she knew she was back in the Triskelion with Fitz, Mace and Mack. It was the next morning. 

“Can we get this started, Agent Johnson?”, said Fitz sounding like the douche he was. 

Daisy looked around the room to figure out what they were waiting for. 

“Just a little longer Mr. Fitz. The Director should be in any minute.”

Their snickers were heard from down the hall. Neither of them were in any type of rush to get into her office. 

“I would have won if the judge wasn't biased.”, Coulson said to May after she made a sly comment to remind him of her victory. Agents stared at the lack of personal space between the two. Both of them noticed, but didn’t seem to care. 

“He was hardly biased. Will actually really liked you. Why don't you just admit mine was better than yours and that’s why I won?”

May slowed down their pace when they started getting closer to her office. 

“I take my tacos with the sauce on the side--”

“And extra avocados. I remember.”, he continued. They reached the door to her office and May turned around so they were face to face. “Maybe after the tacos we could go out for a drink?”

He was trying to turn the conversation around to something a little more serious, but May burst out laughing. 

“What?”

She stopped laughing when she realized he was still semi-serious.

“Sorry.”, she said wiping the water that accumulated in her eyes. “Asking me out for a drinks always been your go-to.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

There was something clicking between them again, there was no denying it. Coulson was trying to get things moving but, in May's opinion, he only knew one way to do it.

“If you’re trying to make a move, Phil, try not to take as long as you did last time.”

Coulson smiled and shook his head in defeat.

“We  _ did  _ have that glass of Haig last night.”

“We did.”

“And if I remember it correctly-- there was something that we used to do after a late night drink like that that we  _ didn’t _ do last night.”

“There was.”,she said letting her voice trail and her fingers toy with his tie. 

The playful smile on his face disappeared. It’s been years since he’d made the decision to do something like this-- but he did. He slowly leant down, closed his eyes and hoped he’d meet his target. But just as he started to feel the warmth coming off her body a loud beep sounded followed by the sound of a lock shifting. Coulson opened his eyes to see that she had her lanyard over the scanner and her mischievous smirk remained.

The door opened and Daisy was there waiting.

“Finally, it’s about time you guys get here. Fitz is really starting to get on my nerves.”


	4. Chapter 4

After the meeting in May’s office, all of them got back on a quinjet. May made sure Daisy sat next to her up in the cockpit-- she wanted to keep the hard-to-get-thing going with Coulson. It was fairly quiet back in the back. Mack would occasionally nudge Fitz and say something to lighten the mood, but he would just smile politely and roll his eyes behind his Gucci sunglasses. Coulson would pretend he was staring out the window, but he was just staring at the back of May’s head hoping she would turn around. 

Daisy actually found it pretty hard to sit where she was. Lincoln sat in a seat identical to that one the last time she laid eyes on him. It’s been almost a year since the whole incident and so much has changed. But through it all, one thing remained the same-- she still missed him. This was literally a world where everyone gets what they want except for her (and Simmons). When she woke up she thought it was Lincoln in the bed, the disappointment she felt when she found out it wasn’t just reminded her of the mission. This was a bad place no matter how perfect it may seem, the mission was to save her friends. 

“You gonna answer that?”, May asked snapping her out of her thoughts. Her phone was ringing. 

“Yeah, sorry.” She accepted the call. “Grant?”

“ _ Hey. I just wanted to check in, see if you’re ok after that little episode last night.” _

“Oh, right… and I said that was because…..”

“ _ Because you had an idea about your current case that you just couldn’t wait to carry out.” _

_ “ _ Yes. I knew that.”

“ _ You’re alright?” _

“Yes! Yes I’m fine don’t worry.”

“ _ Ok. Well stay safe out there, ok? Just because I’m on the D.L. doesn’t mean you have to be too.” _

“Got it.”

_ “Good. I love you.” _

She looked down at the control panel sitting next to her, imagining it being fried and covered in blood.

“I love you.”, she said-- not talking to Ward. 

Once she hung up she quickly put the phone in the cup holder next to her seat and closed her eyes to hold back the tears that came around every time she thought about that day.

“Not that it’s any of my business… but was that Grant as in Grant Ward?”

Daisy opened her eyes to find May looking at her curiously.

“Yeah. Do you know him?”

May scoffed. “Doesn’t everyone? He’s the level 8 pretty boy. No offense.”

Daisy honestly shook her head and laughed in response. She took no offense whatsoever.

“None taken, trust me because it’s so true.”

“How’d you guys meet anyway? When I was a level 3 I was stuck with civilians.”

She thought back as far as she could but nothing came to mind. She’d done some research on herself through computer photo files and the earliest couple picture of them was about four years ago. 

“Uhh… don’t really remember. It’s all a blur.”

“Well then I guess somethings are just meant to be.”, Daisy caught her looking in a strategically placed mirror that she could only assume was pointed at Coulson.

“How’d you guys meet? I’m guessing he was the civilian that stuck?”, she asked with a knowing smirk on her face. May shook her head at the young agent’s confidence in asking her such a personal question. But it felt natural for her to talk to Daisy.

“I went into a bar one day with some friends, he was there, and the next thing I knew the next five years were filled with cheesy jokes and random historical facts.”

“But you liked it.”

“The jokes--no. Him-- yes. No idea why.”

Daisy looked back at Coulson. He was on his phone checking FaceBook. It was ironic because just last week he was talking to her about all the reasons social media was a bad idea.

“Somethings are just meant to be.”

“And that’s why we broke up.”

“And that’s why the world brought you two together again.”

May raised her eyebrows at her comment. Daisy decided to be brave and stick with it-- trusting that the May’s real mind was in there somewhere. 

“Well if I were you I'd do something about it fast. You never know what's gonna happen.”

The time of her voice fell. 

“You've lost a loved one, I presume.”

“A few. And you?”

“My fair share.”, There was a moment of silence between them. Daisy got that strange yet warm knot in her stomach she would get when she'd talk to May back home. Some things were really meant to be. “With our line of work it's just something you have to accept-- that loss will be apart of it. But something's are just not worth losing.”, she said in reference to her son. 

“Your son?”

“Yeah. I do my best to protect him, but it never feels like enough.”

“You'd do anything for him.”

“I would.”

“You're a good mom, Director.”

May smiled down at her lap and put her hand over the pocket with Will’s picture in it. Daisy loved seeing this version of May. Seeing her protect her son with the same determination she would use to protect the team was reassuring that May, in fact,  _ was  _ her mother despite blood. 

“At least he's already doing martial arts-- getting good at protecting himself. I’m slowly trying to wean him onto joining Hydra. Every night before bed he watches those red skull cartoons.”

It was almost a nice moment for Daisy. 

 

They arrived at the location Daisy set. It was the location at which Simmons had programmed the ‘backdoor’ for all of them to escape. It was the base-- their base. Peggy Carter and her people built it long before any of their regrets took place. Simmons had been running a SHIELD-like organization down there, very much similar to the way Coulson had in the real world. 

The problem was that they were all Hydra, so getting into a specific room in the middle of their enemy’s base was more than difficult. Simmons did all she could for them but it just wasn’t enough. The Hydra party barely made it out before their agents had them in their custody. They grabbed a few things that could help with the case they were actually working on, but as far as getting out of the framework-- no progress.

“So it looks like it’s gonna be a bit longer.”

“What?”, Mack said. He’d been the most cooperative so far, so his tone was surprising. “We have families you know. My daughter’s got a softball game this weekend.”, he looked over at the other guys. “You guys have lives too right?”

“Ehh. I have a cat.”, said Mace.

“I have a mansion that is currently inhabited by butlers that are being paid to do nothing right now.”

“I have nothing to do whatsoever.”, said Coulson looking directly at May with a smirk on his face.

“Aren’t you a teacher?”, Mack said. Daisy recognised his ‘are you sh*tting me’ face from the countless times he’d listen to all their crazy plans.

“Yeah, but those kids won’t even notice I’m gone. And this little consultant gig is paying me twice what I make in a year so-- I’m good.” He looked back at May with that same smile. She rolled her eyes.

“I’m sorry Mr. Mackenzie. I promise I’m doing my best to make sure you get home as soon as possible.”, and she meant it.

The men went back to their rooms, Daisy went home with Ward and, as usual, Coulson stayed behind for some more of that banter with May.

“Are you going home?”

“No, it’s pretty late. Will’s probably asleep and I have a room here, so…”

“Oh.”

She gathered the last of her gear and looked up to find him still looking at her with that smile across his face.

“Do you wanna come?”, she sighed.

His eyes lit up behind his glasses. But then fizzled when he tried to compress his excitement.

“I mean if you  _ want _ , I  _ guess _ I can make time for that.”

He was so bad at this. Just how she remembered.   
  



	5. Chapter 5

“Hey sweetie.”, Coulson said with a soft tone into his phone. “Just checking in. You alright over there?”

“ _ Yeah dad. I'm alright.”  _ her voice was soft as well. He assumed she just woke up. “ _ But I assumed you knew that already? I mean Uncle Clint stops by all the time.” _

Clint was the one friend Coulson made through May while she was still in SHIELD. Even after the two broke up the two kept in touch. Even more so when Hydra took over. Clint decided to surrender and live the civilian life along with his friend in Wisconsin. 

“What? You expect me to leave my teenage daughter alone with no supervision whatsoever?”

“ _ Come on, you know I've always been a good girl.” _

They chuckled simultaneously. 

Coulson heard the bed shift behind him. 

“Ok, I better go. Do you have a ride to school?”

“ _ Yeah, Kyle’s taking me.” _

“Kyle? I don't know a Kyle.”

“ _ Relax, dad. He has Mr. Jacobson for History and he has an A _ .”

He sighed of relief.

“An A. Ok, I can live with that.”

“ _ Thank you.” _

“Alright, go get ready. I love you.”

_ “I love you, too.” _

He hung up the phone and smiled at the picture of his daughter that showed after the call ended. As soon as the picture went away, Coulson felt a set of smooth yet cold hands run across his shoulders. He closed his eyes and rolled his head once she started nipping at his neck.

“Director…”

“Stop calling me that.”

“Why? It just makes you sexier than you already are, Director.”

She scooted up so she was seated next to him on the end of the bed but facing the other way.

“Huh, I guess it does.”

He smiled at her. She smiled back, but only until she blushed in defeat from the sparkle in his eyes.

“That was nice.” she said sliding her hand over his. 

“It was. We still got it for a couple of old folk.”

She scrunched her eyebrows and backed up a bit playfully. 

“‘Old’? Um… I'd like to remind you that I  _ am  _ a good couple years behind you.”

“Yeah, but once you're old an age gap doesn't really matter when it comes to relationships.”

“So… this is a relationship now?”

“Well yeah. I thought we'd finish where we left off.”

“But don't you think it's not really the best time to be starting anything?”

“No, not really, no.”, she still had a confused look on her face. “This can work, Melinda.”

“Really? I mean, don't get me wrong-- I want this… like really. But It could get complicated.”

“How so?”

“You have a daughter in Wisconsin. She needs you, I can't take you away from her.”

He smiled. This was the Melinda May he remembered. She never expected anyone to do anything for her. She was used to sacrificing something of her own so others could benefit. 

“You wouldn't be. Julianna's leaving for Stanford next month-- she's going medical I’ve accepted it. I was planning on staying in Wisconsin to keep teaching but--”

“...but”

“But I  _ am  _ considered a high caliber teacher who's teaching methods are able to reach kids of all levels--”

May rolled her eyes and buried her face on his arm. 

“-- so I could probably get a gig in… oh I don't know-- DC?”

“You'd do that?”

“Of course. I mean I get that you're the Director of Hydra and so that means you'll be busy most of the time--”

She winced making him question what he said. 

“What.”

“I don't know, this Director thing is fun and all and I  _ think _ I know what I'm doing but--”

“... but”

“But I have a son. I have a life, or want one. Being Director kinda keeps me from that, you know?”

“What are you saying?”

“If there's anything I've learned in my time as director it's that to be a good one, you can't be attached to anything. Your head can't be clouded with anything but the mission. And mine is. So… I guess what I'm trying to say is…. if you  _ were  _ to start working in DC… maybe I wouldn't be so busy.”

They smiled at each other. Everything was coming together so fast but something about it just felt right. Like life programmed it to be this way. Coulson brushed her hair out of her face and leant down to meet her grin. But he was stopped by the alarm going off. 

“We'll get back to this later.”

“Yes, Mr. Coulson.”

He shot her a look. 

“What? It works on you too.”

 

“Simmons!”, Daisy said to the video board in front of her. “Tell me something good, please?”

She was in a room given to her temporarily right next to the Director’s office.

“ _ Well, I won’t explain the science to you because I know you won’t understand of it…” _

“Thank you.”

_ “Ok so I’ve been racking my brain trying to remember how we would solve problems back home, and then it hit me: there has never been a single instance when a single person solved a single issue all by themselves. We work as a team _ .”

“Yes, I remember each of you giving me this speech a couple months ago.”

_ “Good. So I came to the conclusion that all we have to do to is make everyone remember… everything.” _

Simmons had the same look on her face as she did when she was explaining their plan to go into the framework in the first place. A smile that said everything was alright along words that said otherwise. 

“Ok… I’m just gonna ask it-- how?”

“ _ Well _ ,” she said reaching into a drawer below her camera “ _ I’ve managed to create a device that will do it _ .”

It had a bunch of bells and whistles but all and all it was a needle.

“ _ All we have to do is give them a little puncture in the back of the head and their real memories will come back.  Not right away, of course, but soon enough.” _

“Ok but when’s the next time you can get it to me?”

“ _ I’ll come by your house early tomorrow morning. Just make sure your boyfriend doesn’t see.” _

“Don’t call him that.”, Daisy said. “So what’s my play? Just go up to all of them and start poking? I don’t see that going well. Is this even tested?”

“ _ No. There’s no way to test it without one of them. We just have to wait and see. But if you can, make sure May gets it as soon as possible. We don’t know how much longer her body can handle the Framework.” _

“And of course, May is gonna be the most difficult. Not only does she have thousands of Hydra agents defending her, but… it's May.”

“Well I'm afraid it's our only hope, Daisy.”

“I know.”, she said running her hand down her face. “So get the needle, come to work, inject everyone and especially May.”

“Inject everyone with what?” Daisy heard from behind her. 

It was Coulson. Daisy quickly hid Simmons face with other tabs, but it was already too late, he saw her. 

“The Director told me to come look for you in here. She said the meetings gonna start in 10 minutes.”

“Oh, ok I will be there.”

Coulson looked at her a bit longer. He'd always known when something was up with her and somehow he did here too. 

“Inject everyone with what, Agent Johnson.”

Daisy didn't answer.

“And you said especially May. What are you planning?”

“Nothing.”

“It doesn't seem like nothing.” he turned around and to open the door. “Maybe the Director should hear about this.”

“Wait. Wait. Wait.” she said getting up to grab his arm. “Don't.”

“Get your hand off of me. Melinda needs to hear about this.”

One thing lead to another and the next thing she knew she had him on the floor unconscious.

“ _ Daisy!”  _ Simmons yelled through the monitor. She had just witnessed everything and Daisy forgot she was there. “ _ What the hell!” _

“I don't know! He was gonna blow my cover, I had to react!”

“ _ Like that?!” _

They both took a moment to breath and think of what to do next. 

Daisy managed to get him down to her car without anyone seeing (she worked best when her enemy was Hydra). 

“ _ Now what?”,  _ Simmons said into Daisy's ear.

“We test it-- now. Meet me at my house ASAP.”

So they did. Daisy drove with Coulson handcuffed and gagged in the backseat. By the time she pulled into the driveway Simmons was already sitting on the doorstep with a metal briefcase on her lap. Coulson was awake so he walked himself inside. 

“Do it.”, Daisy said to Simmons who was holding the device near Coulson’s head. 

She nodded and went straight for it. He screamed through the duct tape over his mouth before blacking out. Simmons went over to check his vitals and nothing was happening according to the numbers. She even checked his pulse herself and it seemed perfectly ok. 

“I guess now we just have to wait?” Simmons said. “But I don’t know how long it’s gonna ta--”

Coulson’s eyes shot open as he took in a deep breath through his nose. The monitor showing his vitals suddenly spiked, but it wasn’t anything serious. He was just startled. His head jerked back and forth trying to figure out his surroundings. Daisy reached down and ripped the tape from his mouth. 

“Coulson.” she said with her hands on his shoulders trying to keep him still. His eyes still darted throughout the room.

“Wh-- what is this. What just happened?”

“It depends. Do you know us?”

He looked back and forth at both of their faces trying to distinguish. 

“You’re Daisy Johnson. You’re the agent helping Melinda with her current case.”

The two girls sighed, why didn’t it work? Coulson kept his eyes on her, squinting as he thought some more. 

“But you’re also the girl I kidnapped out of her van four years ago, I turned you into an agent. A-- a  _ SHIELD _ agent.”

It worked. 

“Simmons.” They were smiling at each other but he still sat there confused. “What is this? My head… it’s so… full. I have memories of briefings and field ops, but, I also have memories of holiday dinners and PTA meetings. I know you but I also don’t know you.”

It sounded like the ultimate identity crisis. The injection only half-worked, but it was going to be enough. 

Daisy took a seat next to him.

“Coulson, this isn’t your life here. The other one that you’re remembering? The one where you really know us?  _ That’s  _ your life.”

“My memories… they’re fading. I can’t remember my daughter’s first steps.” his face went from sad to stoic. “I don’t have a daughter. This isn’t real.”

“No, no I’m sorry. You’re stuck in here. And so is everyone else on our team.”

He thought again.

“Our team… you gathered us.”

“Daisy and I were hoping to give all of you your memories back so we could find a way out.”

“Yeah, we just need to do what we just did to you to them. But you should know… May doesn’t have much time left. She’s been in here too long.”

His face shifted and the grip he had on his chair grew tighter.

“What are we going to do.”


	6. Chapter 6

A few hours had passed since Daisy and Coulson had left the Hydra tower. The three of them had left the Daisy and Ward household to a secure location in case anyone came looking. They didn’t have an exact plan, but they knew their main objective was to get the serum into all of them as fast as possible. 

Coulson and Daisy’s phones were ringing off the hook. May and Ward wouldn’t stop leaving voice messages and texts. 

“ _ I was so stupid to let Agent Johnson get so close so fast. The nice ones are always the wolf in the herd, right? I’m gonna find you, Phil. If you’re listening just… stay steady… I’ll see you soon.” _

_ “I know this is like my fifth message in the last hour but you need to pick up, honey. I know you wouldn’t do anything against Hydra but they don’t know that. I’ve already been put through questioning and a polygraph. Thankfully I passed, but I don’t know how much it will help. Just come home now and we can solve this, ok? I love you.” _

Daisy took both of their phones and threw them into the bucket of water sitting under the hole in the roof. 

“We can’t have them tracking us.” she explained. “Simmons, did you happen to bring a laptop , tablet or anything?”

She put her backpack on the ground and pulled out a basic field laptop. Daisy began her standard hacking routine. From what Simmons could tell she was hacking into the itineraries of Fitz, Mack and Mace. 

“What are you doing?” Coulson asked.

“The guys should be easy. They’re nobodies. Pretty soon this manhunt for us is gonna blow up and no one’s gonna care about the mission I originally brought them in for. I’m scheduling their discharge from Hydra custody.”

“Releasing them? Wouldn’t that just make it more difficult to get their memories back?”

“No, it won’t be difficult. We will be the ones providing their transportation. I scheduled them to leave in the way they came, all at once.”

“--in a quinjet?” Coulson said with a slight ‘yeah right’ tone. “None of us know how to fly one of those let alone start one up.”

“Relax. All we need to do is get them in it.”

Daisy seemed pretty confident this was going to work. There was a sense of invincibility that came along with the words that came out of her mouth. Optimism hadn’t been one of her larger characteristics in the real world lately, and Simmons was glad to see it make a comeback but, something still felt off. It was like she felt like she had some sort of advantage over the people living in this world.

“And what about May. You said she needs it the most as soon as possible.” Coulson had lots of worry in his voice. 

“I know. I’m working on that.”, she said tapping more on the laptop. She was looking at May’s schedule. “You went home with her the other day, right Coulson? You know where it is?”

“Yeah… why?”

“Because she’s scheduled to go home tonight. We can just wait for her there and give her the serum.”

“But her son is there.” he said with a soft voice.

“So? It doesn’t matter. He’s not real.”

“But we’d be ripping that away from her so fast. You know what happened in Bahrain-- remembering that while staring at her child that never was is just gonna…”

Daisy tilted her head as she understood what he was getting at.

“I know. But it has to be done if we want her back.”

So they went through with it. The guys were back to normal(ish). They still had trouble deciphering which memory came from which life, but in soon enough they’d be back to normal.

Daisy and Coulson took a car out to May’s house while everyone else stayed in the quinjet. They waited there for an hour before she finally pulled up in the driveway. She sat there for a while doing nothing, thinking. He guessed she was thinking about him, and how he’s gone. But after a few minutes she went inside. They could see her through the window as Will ran up into her arms the same way he did that night she brought him home. It was late, and from what Coulson could remember it was way past Will’s bedtime. They watched as she carried him up the stairs and to his bed. The light in the bedroom window turned off and she went back downstairs. 

Coulson took the device, put it in his pocket, and walked up to her front door. He didn’t have to ring a doorbell, the house was technically a smart-house so it knew he was there. The locks on the door were turning rather quickly. When it finally opened, May pulled him inside and wouldn’t let him go. She had her head tucked under his chin with his arms holding onto her. 

“Wh-- what happened? You just disappeared. I was worried you--”

“No. No. I’m ok.” he said in a soothing tone as they slightly swayed side to side. “I’ll explain later, I promise.” He took the device from his pocket, held it to her head, and as fast as he could he did it. 

She gasped at the pinch and lost consciousness. He guided her to the floor, setting her head down gently. 

Daisy rushed through the door. 

“You gave it to her?”

“Yeah. She should wake up soon right? That’s how it was with me and everyone else?”

“Yeah. All that’s left to do at this point is wa--”

“Mommy?”

Will was standing at the bottom of the staircase rubbing his eyes. Coulson and Daisy turned around simultaneously at the young voice.

“Oh shit.” Daisy muttered under her breath. Will was standing there with confusion all over his face as he saw his mother laying down in the middle of their living room. 

Coulson quickly got up from his spot on the floor to block the young boy’s view. 

“Hey buddy. It’s pretty late, you wanna head back to bed?”

“Is that my mom? Why are her eyes closed?”

“Uhh… she’s really tired. I think past her bedtime, like you. Why don’t you go back to bed and so you’re not tired tomorrow morning?”

Will yawned and wiped over his face.

“Can you put me to bed?”, he said raising his arms to signal Coulson to pick him up. “Mommy usually does it but I think she’s too tired.”

Coulson looked to Daisy. He didn’t have much experience with children so he was a little confused on what he was supposed to do next. She nodded to him to just do it.

“Yeah,” he said taking the boy into his arms. “Let’s go.”

He walked up the stairs and took him to his room. Will walked him through his routine and Coulson did a great job. He remembered doing stuff like that with Julianna, but he knew that wasn’t real. And if he was being honest with himself, he never thought he’d be able to be an actual father. And if he was being even _ more  _ honest, he didn’t even remember what it was like to have a father of his own.

“Ok, is that it? Ready to go to sleep?”

“Yeah, that’s it… it’s just…”

Will had May’s eyes. Coulson was an expert at reading those eyes.

“What is it?”

“Um… sometimes when I can’t sleep Mommy stays and talks to me.”

“Ok… what do you want to talk about?”

“Tell me about your Corvette, I’ve never seen one before.”

Coulson took a seat next to Will and brought his legs up to stretch over the length of the tiny bed.

“Well, her name is Lola, first of all.” They both chuckled. “She’s red-- bright red. The seats are leather. They may not be the most comfortable but boy do they look good. I remember when I first saw her. She looked awful. Rust all over, windows fogged-- it looked like nothing could be done. But me and my dad fixed it up. I got the keys when I was sixteen and no one else has driven her since. Well, except for your mom but, no one’s supposed to know about that. I’ve even upgraded it a couple times. Maybe one day I’ll take you under the hood show you--”

He looked down and found the little boy peacefully asleep. So without making too much noise, he got out of the bed, dimmed the lights and closed the door behind him. 

He caught the grin on his face. Why was he smiling? Was he getting attached? That wasn’t good. This isn’t real and he can’t afford to become blinded by things that don’t affect the real world. So he wiped any emotion off his face and headed back downstairs.

Daisy had May laid down on the couch. 

“Why isn’t she awake yet? It’s been like half an hour.”

“I know. She should have waken up a long time ago.”

“Is she ok?”

“I don’t know. Her vitals are fine, but so were yours and everyone else’s when you went through this. I’m gonna call Simmons.”

Daisy took her phone and went into the other room.

Coulson bent down next to the couch and put his hand over her’s. It was warm, she even twitched at the contact. But she wasn’t waking up. He pulled her hand to his lips.

“I’m here, May. I’m right here. Wake up.”


	7. Chapter 7

There was no change in her condition. All that was left to do was wait, so that’s what they did. 

Coulson just sat there looking at her. There was something eating him up inside and Daisy could see it. She was used to letting May handle him when he was like that but May wasn’t really there right then.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked.

His thumb rubbed small circles on the back of her hand.

“The hundreds of other times I thought she or anyone else on our team was gonna die.” There was a coldness to his words. “Do you ever think about that? Do you ever think about how often it happens and wonder how the hell we’re even still here?”

“You know I do. I’ve only been in the game for a couple years and I’ve seen my fair share, sure. But you-- I can’t imagine…”

His eyes remained on May despite the small amount of tears that accumulated in the corners.

“When I signed up to be an agent I gave up this life. That was the first sacrifice. After that it was little things, small sacrifices. Those built up. And when they build up, something happens and it changes you forever. May gets that. I think that’s why I kept her close all these years.”

“I miss her.” She had a right to. The woman was her SO, the only person who was ever able to fill that part of her that needed a mother. 

“Me too.”

He could hear Daisy stand up behind him.

“Are you gonna sleep? This could be a while.”

“No.” he said looking up at her. “I’m uhh… gonna wait. There’s a guest room next to Will’s room. Just don’t let him see you.”

She left and it was quiet again. It gave him more time to think. Thinking in the Framework was hard, it took effort. He had to decipher what memory was from which life. Some were easy, like if he saw a classroom it was fake and if he saw a dead body beneath him it was real. But others were difficult-- the ones including May to be specific. Their time together as a fake couple in the real world and a real couple in the fake world looked very much the same in his head. He had to dig deeper and remember how he felt during that specific memory. For example, if he remembered kissing her and during the kiss he couldn’t think of anything but her, it was fake. And if he remembered kissing her but also thinking about who could be watching, it was real.

But there was one memory that really confused him. He saw books, lots of them. He and Julianna loved going to old libraries together. But he also saw May in her field suit, but instead of Hydra patches they were SHIELD patches. He kissed her. It had the feeling of the fake ones but it was real. He actually built up the courage to give her a real kiss after all those years. Thinking about it made his heart beat just a bit faster. But that was just until he remembered what happened thirty seconds after the kiss.

Just as he was about to doze off, the grip on his hand suddenly tightened. Her eyes were open, but she was silent-- unlike the rest of them when they woke up. 

“May.” he said leaning closer to her. “Hey, it’s me. How do you feel.”

When her turned her head to him her eyes quickly widened. She sat up and flung her arms around him. 

“How do  _ I  _ feel? You’re the one that went missing this morning.”

_ Crap.  _ It didn’t work. Why didn’t it work? He had to play along. 

“Yeah, um… you’re right.”

She didn’t remember opening the door to him earlier.

“What happened? Was it Agent Johnson? It was, wasn’t it? I knew I shouldn’t have trusted her so easily.”

Technically it  _ was  _ Daisy who took her but she was in the house. If May caught her who knows what kind of damage could be done.

“No. No it was--”

“Hey I heard talking down here.” he heard Daisy say as she came down from the stairs. He watched as May’s eyes locked on her target. “Everything alright?”

“You.”

May got off of the couch and started heading toward Daisy. She knew that look on her face. It was the same one she had whenever she was looking at someone while imagining what it’d be like to crush them. That wasn’t good. She quickly flung her hands to her side to find a weapon. There was an icer. She had to act fast so she shot May.   
“What the hell!?” said Coulson rushing to May on the floor.

“She was advancing! I had to do something!”

“You keep knocking us unconscious. And here I was thinking you caught onto May’s ninja-ness.”

“I did. It just doesn’t work when she’s the one coming at me. Besides you’ve iced her before.”

“Whatever.”

Daisy gathered her breath and put the gun back in it’s holster.

“What now? We can’t stay here. They’re gonna come if she doesn’t come into work tomorrow.”

Coulson took off his jacket, laid it over May and picked her up. 

“Get Will. We’re going.”

“Going where? And do we really need to bring him? I mean, I get he’s a kid and all but-- he’s not real. Once we get May back it won’t matter what happens to him or anyone else in this world.”

Coulson turned around and gave her the look he always gave her when she questioned his orders. 

 

They got in the car with May and Will in the backseat. They were both ‘sleeping’ throughout the whole ride, even when they were transferred into a quinjet. Daisy hacked into the jet’s control system and was able to make it so that all they had to do was put in a destination and it would take them there.

“Where to?” she asked holding the tablet to Coulson. 

“Wisconsin.” he said typing it into the coordinates. “My place.”

 

He slowly opened her bedroom door. It was dark but he could still see the moving boxes scattered all over the place. He knew this should mean nothing to him but there was still something in the back of his head that couldn’t help but loving her. She was his daughter, or at least the one that could have been. This whole world was fake but he couldn’t say that he didn’t wish some things were real.

He sat on her bedside causing her to stir. She turned on the light and found her dad.

“You’re home!” she said giving him a quick hug. “I got a notification this morning that said you were coming home today. I guess you were just late.”

She turned her head at the sound of other voices throughout the house. 

“Who--”

“It’s just some people from Hydra, ok? They’re gonna be here for a while.”

“You’re working with them? That’s so cool! How are you not freaking out? You’re like the king of nerding out when it comes to stuff like this.”

_ Oh sweet girl _ he thought. She was still worshiping Hydra along with everyone else. Just another reminder that she wasn’t real.

“Trust me, I’m freaking out on the inside.” They laughed. “I’m just gonna need you to stay in here, ok? If you need anything just text me.”

“You got it, Agent Coulson.” she teased.

“Phil?”

Will was standing at the door rubbing his eyes. The team must not have noticed he woke up and slipped away. Coulson got up from the bed and bent down to Will’s level.

“Hey buddy.”

“Wh-- where are we?”

“We’re at  _ my  _ house now. There’s nothing to worry about, ok? You’re ok.” he looked over at Julianna. “I want you to meet someone.” Coulson picked up Will and set him down at the end of the bed. “This is my daughter, Julianna. Julianna this is Will.”

“Hi, Will.”

Will examined her the same way he examined Coulson when they first met.

“Do you mind watching him?” Coulson asked. “He should fall asleep again but if he doesn’t… he likes cars.”

 

Coulson got into the living room where May sat up awake calmly looking around. 

“We gave her a modified, stronger version of the serum.” said Simmons. “I don’t know if it’s working. She hasn’t said anything since she woke up.”

He walked over to stand in front of her. She looked scared. There was something in her eyes that he hadn't seen in a really long time, but he just couldn't put his finger on it. 

“May?”

She looked up at his voice immediately. It was now visible to him and everyone else that there were tears in her eyes. No one knew what to do, none of them have ever seen her like that-- except for Coulson. 

“Come on.” he said going to help her up. 

He brought her into his bedroom-- the only other room in the house meant for two. She sat at the top of his bed and leant against his headboard. He smiled at that. It was her go to position when they took to one of their rooms after a tough op for a drink. 

“May.” he sat at her feet. “Tell me who I am.”

“Phil Coulson.” she said keeping her eyes off of him. 

“How’d we meet?” his voice was soft again.

“I don’t know.”

His head tilted and more tears flowed down her face.

“Yes you do, tell me.”

“I don’t know.” she insisted.

He put his hand on her leg causing her to flinch. 

“May.”

“I don’t know which one is real.”

It worked. But her reaction was different from everyone else. She was in there longer than any of them, the Framework must have had a stronger effect on her. 

“Let me help.”

“The images in my head are… blurry.”

“Tell me.”

“I see… fog, waves crashing on rocks, seagulls in the sky. I was in the water.”

A smile grew on his face. 

“That was Sausalito. You got stuck in the bay.”

“But I also see empty shot glasses, a mechanical bull and then… a sunset. We ditched everyone and took your car out to the beach.” She thought about it some more and realized it didn’t align with some of the other memories in her head. “But that one’s not real, is it?”

“Are you back?” he asked with hope on his face.

“Yeah I’m back.”

He didn’t know what to do with all of the excitement. 

“How… how long have you been gone? When did he take you?”

“He? It-- it was the robot. I went there to pick her up and take her to… Los Angeles.”

“ _ Los Angeles _ ? Morrow?”

“Yeah. How long has it been?”

He sighed at her ignorance.

“It’s been a while. A long while. Longer than it should have been. He replaced you with an LMD. You kinda missed a lot.”

She was still going through the memories in her head. 

“But we can go over that when we get out of here.”

“Get out?”

“We’re stuck in the Framework. Who knows how long our bodies can stand it.”

She looked around the room and back at him.

“I-- I  _ can’t _ go back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stay tuned for feels


	8. Chapter 8

“You can't go back?” he tried to understand. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “May, this place is dangerous. It could kill you.”

“Dangerous? How is it dangerous? It’s perfect here.”

“But it’s not real.”

“It _feels_ real.”

“But it’s not!” he needed her to understand. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. “May, come on. I’ve been searching for you. All I’ve wanted was to find you-- to bring you home. I’m not going back without you.”

His voice started to break.

“Why do you feel the need to protect me? You know I don’t need that.”

“I can’t help it, I love you.”

Silence fell over them and for a while they just sat on his bed staring at his hand on her leg. He just said what they both knew but were never up for addressing. There’s never really been a good time for anything to start between them. Now was certainly not a good time but he figured now or never. He just didn’t know what to do next. After all of his strategic training he couldn’t figure out what was next.

But _she_ did apparently. For some reason she felt comfortable enough to pull him toward her by the collar and put his lips on hers. After a second of shock he melted into her. She felt the same as her LMD. _Felt._ He knew this was wrong, all he wanted was to be able to kiss her and for it to be real.

They broke apart and he held her close with his hand roaming the side of her face. Her hands were still clinging to his shirt.

“I know you love me. _I love you_ . Here _and_ there. So what does it matter where we are?”

He looked down into her eyes. They looked up at him with a sense of hope he hadn’t seen in them in a long time.

“Because we’re not ourselves here, May.” his voice was gentle. He didn’t want to shatter the optimism in her. “We know who we are.”

“But--”

“This world was made by the Darkhold. We both know how dangerous that book is. Do you really want to live in a world that was made by that thing?”

“I do if it means I never killed that girl.”

She released the grip on his shirt and moved slightly to get him to move his hand.

“That was your regret.”

She shook her head at his tone because she’s heard it before.

“May, you had no choice. There were lives at stake. You did what had to be done, remember? Those are your words.”

“There were still other options-- other ways to handle it. I was too quick to the trigger. Those are _your_ words.”

“Other options? Like letting the her go and hurting even more people?”

“You don’t understand.”

“I don’t understand?” he paused. She was feeling alone again-- like she always was. He stood up off of the bed and paced a little to the nearby wall before turning sharply to her. “I don’t understand?” he said slightly raising his voice. “So I don’t get what it’s like to do something that eats me up inside and then be praised for it? That’s not something I can relate to?”

She shifted herself when she realized what he was getting at.

“Phil…”

“This world is perfect. We never did any of the things we regret. But the reason we get along so well is because of that regret. It’s what makes us who we are, May. It’s what makes us real. Going back and facing reality is gonna be hard. It’s scary I know. But we can do it together.”

“Together?”

He bent down to pick up her hands and she stood up infront of him.

“Together, May. That’s all I really want.”

She nodded holding back the tears. He brought her close and she buried her face in his chest. Their hug only lasted for a few seconds. It was interrupted when the door burst open and they found Will standing behind it. Coulson felt her grip tighten as they both laid eyes on the little boy.

“Mommy I want to go home.”

Julianna came running up behind him.

“I’m sorry dad. I thought he was sleeping so I went to sleep and--” she was out of breath and was overcome with starstruck when she realized who May was.

“Umm…” Coulson said clearing his throat and taking a step away from May. “Honey let’s go in your room. We need to talk.”

“...Ok.” she turned around and proceeded to her room.

“Phil.” May said grabbing his sleeve as he started to walk out the room. The message she sent through her eyes was that she was scared. She just had a conversation about the very event that caused her to change her mind about motherhood, and now she had to face her son.

He eased the tense in her hand and dropped a kiss on top of her head.

“You have to say good bye.”

With that he left the room and closed the door. Will ran up to her and into her arms.

“I want to go home, Mommy.”

“I know, baby.” she slowly lowered the two of them onto the side of the bed. “We’ll be home soon. You just have to be strong for me, ok? A little bit longer.”

She felt him nod against her shoulder.

“Why were you and Phil in here?”

“We were...talking.”

“Do you like him?”

She laughed.

“Yeah I think I do. Why?”

“Because I like him too. He said he’ll give me a ride in his Corvette.”

“Really? Wow. He doesn’t let anyone touch his car. He must like you too.”

There was a slight crack in her voice that was noticeable enough for Will to pick up on. He leant back to get a look at her face.

“Why are you crying? Are you sad?”

“No. No. No.” she said rubbing her and over the side of his face. “I just love you. I love you so much, Will.”

“I know, Mommy. I love you too.”

She was gonna miss this. Will wasn’t real but he was the closest she ever got. Her real self wouldn’t care for Saturday morning cartoons and toy cars, but now this life would forever be in her mind. The more she thought about it, the more she was ok with how it would work out.

“Hey guess what.” Will asked with a more excited tone.

“What?”

“I have my first wiggly tooth. Wanna see?”

 

“You didn’t tell me you had a thing with Director May.”

“Didn’t think it was a big deal.”

“Yeah no you’re right. My dad’s just dating the most awesome woman in America.”

 _My dad_ . He’s never gonna hear anyone say that about him again-- which sucks because he actually likes being a father. It's something that he's always wanted but the life he chose didn't fit with it. That never stopped him from imagining it and for however long he'd been kidnapped, he _lived_ it. At least now he can keep those memories in his head.

“Dad. Why are you looking at me like that?”

He smiled and looked down at the floor before turning back to her.

“Nothing. I’m just… thinking about how much I’m gonna miss you.”

She rolled her eyes.

“I’m not leaving for a couple of weeks.”

“I know. I know. But that’s just gonna fly by. I won’t see you anymore.” There we tears in his eyes and his expression became a little more serious.

“No. No. Don’t do that. If you start crying then I’ll start crying and I didn’t emotionally prepare for that.”

They sat there looking at eachother for a little longer and eventually he opened his arms and she leant into them. Her touch brought back memories of the nights he spent trying to rock her to sleep, the times she’d tug at his leg when she saw an ice cream truck, and all those kisses she’d give him before she left for school. He’d take those memories with him for the rest of his real life.

“Thank you.” he said with his lips brushing over the top of her head.

“What for?”

“For making me a dad. Before I met you I didn’t have a dad. I didn’t even have an idea of what it meant to be one. You taught me things I never even knew existed.”

She chuckled and sat back to look at him.

“I love you, Dad.”

“I love you, too.”

He took her in for one more kiss and hug. He memorized everything about it.

“You’re probably gonna want to get to sleep. I don’t think Mrs. Lee is gonna be very happy if you’re late to first period again.”

She got under the covers and he got up to leave.

“See you tomorrow?” she said after he turned out the light.

“See you tomorrow.”

It wasn’t necessarily a lie, he’d see her face in his mind for the rest of his life.

When he got into the hallway, he found May tip toeing out of his room.

“He fell asleep.” she said softly. “I tucked him into your bed, if that’s ok.”

“I won’t be needing it anymore.” he walked over to her and took her hand. “Are you ready?”

“Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stay tuned for one more chapter before the hiatus finishes:)


	9. Chapter 9

Two days later the team made it back to the base. Half of the base was destroyed due to the explosion their LMDs put in place. The lab, the common room, the director’s office-- all gone. The bunks and the gym were in better shape, however. In the eyes of the public, SHIELD was still a well-oiled organization. But in reality it was around 20 agents trying to put everything back together.

The team themselves were quiet after returning. Each of them were trying to get back to their old selves but no one was really getting there. It put a damper on their confidence. The bigger problem was when someone like Daisy or Simmons would try to talk to them they’d nod politely and escape before sharing. It was like they knew each other but they didn’t. 

Fitz would often panic due to the confusion reminding him of the months after his brain trauma incident. Simmons got him to come around. After about a day of talking about how much SHIELD has consumed their lives, they decided to reduce it a bit by finally moving into that apartment. Mack and Mace got to their peace place with time, but they'd never be the same as they were before. 

Coulson and May found it harder than they imagined it to get through it together. They were both aware of the feelings they expressed in the Framework but anytime either of them would consider taking whatever the next step was, they stopped themselves because it just didn’t feel right. Something was missing. 

They all got back and modified their routines to fit SHIELD’s current status. There weren’t many agents left for May to train so she had more time to work on herself and get back in shape. Coulson oversaw most of the redevelopment. It kept him busy but he made sure Mace did some of the work so he could have nights off. 

Every night he thought about doing it, talking about it. But somehow every time he thought about it in his head he'd psych himself out and procrastinate. But tonight as he sat in his buck he saw something shining in the corner of his eye. It was that bottle of haig standing next to a bottle of their regular scotch. 

He knocked on her door. She opened it to find him standing there with bottles in both hands. 

“Hi. If I remember correctly, we never opened that bottle together.”

She smiled and walked further into her room signaling him to come in. He walked in slowly and gently closed the door. May set two glasses on the desk. 

“I actually opened the real one with your LMD so this is gonna have to do.”

They simultaneously downed their portion all at once and set the glasses back on the table for more. 

“Do you miss him?” he said as the liquor filtered into his system. 

“A part of me does. The other just reminds me that I’m here now-- none of that was real.”

He nodded and started to pour another round. 

“What about you?” she asked taking her glass. “It seemed like you really liked being a dad.”

He took a seat on her bed and she followed, settling only a foot away. 

“I did. I know she's not real, that's what I’m accepting. But what I found was that that feeling I had when I was around Julianna-- pride and love-- I have it when I'm around Daisy. I know you do too.” She gave him a stare that she knew he would recognize as a ‘fine, you're right.’ “There’s only ever been a couple of people I could say I actually loved. And… only one I’ve been  _ in  _ love with.”

He downed another glassful and she couldn’t help but smile.

“So that was real.” she said relieved that conversation wasn’t just programming.

“Yeah, it was. I’m sorry I’ve been so distant. I know I said we’d get through it together, but I guess underestimated how hard this would be on me.  I didn’t even stop to ask it you were ok.”

“I’m ok, Phil.” she put her hand on his cheek to turn his face toward her’s. “Really.”

“Good.”

“Are you?”

“I am now.”

“Good.”

 

**5 Years Later**

 

“Agent May, do you have eyes on the targets?” Phil said into his comms. “It’s dark and I’ve lost visual contact.”

She ducked under a window and clutched her weapon.

“No eyes down here. I heard footsteps on the stairs. Watch your back, Phil.” 

She couldn’t figure out what was happening. She could hear his heavy breathing and furniture being moved around. He was setting up a barricade. The thuds against his door could be heard from where she was. 

“May, you still there?”

“Yeah I’m here.”

“Good. The door’s about to blow open and I don’t think this will end well. I love you. I love you, so much.”

“You’re being dramatic.” she quickly said in between his quick words.

“I love you despite the fact that you have repeatedly rejected all of my marriage proposals.”

The door slammed into wall behind it and the target stormed into the room. Shots were fired and Coulson grunted and hit the floor. May ran up the stairs and into the room he said he was in.

“Aunt May! We did it! We got Uncle Phil!”

The three year olds ran in circles around Coulson who was laying on the ground with three nerf darts sticking out of his chest. 

“You did, didn’t you?” the twins ran to her ankles and hung on unable to control their giggles. “Is it time for bed?”

“Nope.” Emma said.

“No! We have to have dessert first!” said Lincoln.

May scoffed.

“You just had dessert ten minutes ago. If I gave you another your mom would kill me.”

“Fine.” they said at the same time.

“Good, now go wake up Uncle Phil.”

The two approached Coulson slowly. As soon as Lincoln’s foot touched his arm, Coulson got up roaring and took both of them into his arms. He carried both of them over both his shoulders into their parent’s room-- where they insisted on sleeping while they were away on assignment. The three of them plopped on the bed.

“Ok… time to sleep.” Coulson said out of breath. 

They crawled under the covers and Coulson tucked them in. May came in and helped.

“I assume you want to sleep with these stuffed monkeys--” he said reaching up onto the shelf above them. 

“No!” Emma yelled with wide eyes.

“Those are daddy’s! We’re not supposed to touch those.”

“Oh, Fitz.” May sighed. “I can’t believe Simmons let him keep those there.”

The little ones yawned and their eyes started to droop. 

“We should sleep.” Emma said pulling the covers closer to her face. “Mommy said we need at least 8 hours if we want to stay healthy.”

“But Aunt Daisy said if I want to be a specialist one day then I have to get used to being tired.”

“Well lucky for you, Lincoln, you have a ways to go until you start training to be like Aunt Daisy.”

Coulson and May gave the kids their goodnight kisses and walked to the door. 

“Night, you two.”

“Night.”

Not long after, Fitz and Simmons came home and relieved them of their babysitting duties. 

“‘I love you despite all the rejected marriage proposals’?” May said to him from the passenger seat. “Is what you said?”

“You heard me.”

She laughed out loud and he remained serious.

“May, come on. The last five years have been amazing, have they not?”

“They  _ have _ .”

“Exactly! Getting married would just make it even better.”

“Why do you want this so bad? Nothing would change.”

“We’ve been fake married so many times-- I just want it to be real already.”

“Is that it? Or is it because you already told Daisy we’re going through with it?”

He pulled into their driveway and bowed his head in defeat.

“What’d she say.”

“She asked me what my favorite flower was and got offended when I didn’t say ‘daisies’.”

“What  _ is  _ your favorite flower?”

She rolled her eyes and got out of the car. His begging was almost too cute for her to give in. They entered the house and got ready for bed. He went on and on about why it’s a good idea, while at the same time remembering how her last marriage went and being very sensitive about that.

“Phil!” she said as they finished brushing their teeth.

“What?”

May got into the bed and he followed.

“You are aware that you’ve been talking for the last hour, right?”

“Yes, I was aware. Will you marry me?”

Her head plopped onto the pillow behind her and he remained sitting up staring at her with that grin and googly eye combo.

“Fine.” she mumbled.

“I’m sorry what?” he asked mockingly. 

“Fine! I’ll marry you.”

He pulled her into a one-sided hug and kissed around her face.

“You’re always gonna be a dorky teacher on the inside, aren’t you?”

“And you’re always gonna be… well you’re not a Hydra director on the inside-- but nevertheless: my wife.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading:)


End file.
